Susie + Lake Placid = Disfellowshipped??

So, I met a girl named Susie. Funny thing is, for her to be such a big influence in my life, I can't even remember just how I met her. (This is when I would normally call Susie to see if she remembers, but that could never happen now that I'm disfellowshipped.) I suppose the way we met really isn't all that important, but rather that we met. She was just what I needed in my life without me even knowing. She was full of energy, full, outgoing, crazy, silly, and most of all...exciting. I actually had a best friend at the time, and her name was Marie.We were instant best friends since we met the first day of the 5th grade when I was the new kid in the class and school. I loved Marie, but Marie quite frankly, was becoming rather boring. JW indoctrination was really doing a job on her personality. There was no longer any fun, excitement, or curiosity in life. So when Susie came along with all those qualities, I was head over heels in like with her!

Susie came from a very large family, 10 kids in fact! Her dad was an Elder in one of the local congregations and she and some of her sisters were well known for their fun attitudes. As an only child (well kind of, but I'll explain that later) I loved being around Susie and her siblings and they quickly incorporated me into their lives. Susie was actually #9 child out of 10, so some of her siblings were actually like cool big sisters to me, which was great!

Everything changed though with one ski trip to Lake Placid, NY. Three bus loads of JW young people all went for a 4 day weekend to the secluded mountain town. It was fabulous! To this day I'm surprised the trip actually occurred at all since there were mostly 20 something year olds traveling without real chaperons. Though I really didn't want to, my mother actually encourage me to go since she thought it would be good for me. I'm so glad I went because at 18 I had one of the best times of my life. Susie, three of her sisters, and I all went and met so many new, fun and interesting people. And best of all, we met many very cute, single, and available brothers! That was a definite plus! Of all the people we met that weekend, two actually had a big impact on my life from that point on: a brother named Ted and a sister named May.

May was a great sister. She was the same age as Susie and I, and like us she was silly and fun. That weekend Susie and I adopted May into our close friendship and it was now a threesome. May was a little different from us though. Unlike Susie and I, her family wasn't closely tied to the Organization. Her father was disfellowshipped just as mine had been (yes my dad was reinstated by this point) but her mother wasn't even baptized. May was trying her best to be a faithful JW, and on the surface she was. But as far as that weekend goes, Susie, May and I had tons of fun.

Ted was a nice guy. As we got to know each other we found out we had a friend in common. I thought he was nice to talk to, though I honestly didn't think much else of him...until the last day of the trip. As we were all packing to leave the resort, Ted asked me if he could keep in contact with me and gave me his phone number. Thinking nothing of it I told him sure since I loved making new friends. When I mentioned it to Susie, I didn't get the reaction I thought I would. She was furious with me, and actually stopped speaking to me. When I tried to find out why she was so upset, she wouldn't tell me. After speaking with one of her sisters, we came to the conclusion that Susie liked Ted and was upset he didn't ask to keep in contact with her. I found her before getting on the bus and apologized and even got rid of Ted's number, but Susie didn't budge. What followed was a very long, and sad ride home.

A few days later, Susie finally calmed down and things between us and went back to normal. I tried to put what happened between us on the ski trip in the back of my mind, and focus on just having fun and enjoying life. Susie and I starting spending more and more time with all the new friends we had made on the ski trip, including May. Like I mentioned before May was a great girl, though her family was full of troubles much like my own. But, unlike my family, May didn't have a strong JW support system within her family. I noticed when May and I spent time together, she was becoming more and more questionable as a JW. There were a number of occasions where her behavior was actually 'worldly'. I never said anything about it though since May and I were friends.

Around my 20th birthday I got my driver's license! It was a great day for me and the first thing I did was take my closest girlfriends for a ride. Being able to drive meant freedom for me. This new mobility also meant that May and I could spend even more time together (she lived in another part of town). May started suggesting various places to go when we would go out. She first took me to a night club....a big no-no for a good JWJW gatherings. May was quick to join in, dancing with several of the guys there at the club. This was one of the first times that I realized just how much the Organization shaped and controlled our lives. Anyway, as my uneasiness grew, May agreed to leave. While May and I never discussed what had just happened, I knew that our friendship was taking me down a different path than I hadn't anticipated, and I never told Susie.

Though Susie and I were still friends and hung out often, May and I also were spending lots of time together. (I should have explained to you that by this point I was a regular pioneer...though not one month did I ever met the 90 hr requirement for field service. Wait....I'm not even sure it was 90 hrs; its been so long I can't remember. But I do remember filling out those time sheets and lying on every one of them!) May and I also started spending more and more time with friends that really weren't considered 'good association'. Susie and I were still friends, though her reaction on the ski trip really hurt me. So I started pulling away ever so slightly from Susie.

During this time I felt lost. I wasn't particularly close with Susie any longer. Though we still spent time together, I was keeping secrets about my activities with May. And, though May was lots of fun, she really wasn't the friend Susie had been. For that matter she wasn't even the friend Marie had been. I started to feel as though my world was closing in on me. It felt as though the Organization was too confining, like it was choking the life out of me. I started really wishing I was no longer a JW, though the thought of leaving the Organization was crazy in my eyes. So, I kept going through the motions, feeling like a boat lost at sea.

My part-time job brought me in close contact with lots of 'worldly' people, especially guys. To me, these guys were different from those in 'the truth', and that was good to me. Several would ask me out, but I turned them down. After all, I was still a JW. What happened next wasn't planned, and honestly I don't even fully remember all the details. What I remember most are all the hurt feelings involved.