Jehovah's Witnesses and Brainwashing

I'm writing this blog entry from the unlikeliest of places...my mom's home. Now if you've read any of my previous posts, you know that my parents are JW's. They divorced when I was a teen and my dad was df'd. My dad did get reinstated when I was in my late teens, but both my parents moved on and remarried. Mom is divorced again...I think her ex got df'd too, but I'm not 100% sure about that.

Anyway...long story short, hubby and I are getting work done in our house so we needed a place to stay for a week or two. I wanted a hotel but hubby didn't want to spent the extra money, which I hate to say but he's right. So, that meant we would have to stay with family. Both our mother's welcomed us with open arms...so how in the world did we end up at my mom's house??? Crazy right?! Well my mom had the most space with free bedrooms for us to use. So here we are.

Needless to say I was a little stressed out the day before we moved in, worried about what to expect. Honestly I expected constant lecturing, preaching, and jabs about how I need to get  my life together. I'm happy to say that after one week none of that has happened. She's been perfectly warm and welcoming and has pretty much left us alone...not in a bad way but just giving us some space.

But here is my concern: Being here I've actually gotten a chance to see just how much time she spends 'studying' Jdub publications. It is actually disturbing to me. These publications are simply the writings of men in Brooklyn who want to shape and mold the Organization into what they want. In no way do I think these publications are "inspired of God" as JW's often claim. While at mom's house last summer I picked up a WT magazine just to see what they had to say. It was about unemployment or lack of financial resources. Anyway as I'm reading the article, I was stunned at the advice they were giving! It was a load of crap! They were not giving sound financial advice as to how people should deal with an economic downturn, instead they were telling people to basically trust in God and he'll take care of them. I grew up reading this crap and back then I never saw anything wrong with it. After over 16 years of not picking up one of those magazines, I can really see how the Organization brainwashes people into believing it's the "only true" religion.

From what I remember of the Organization they are against higher education. They feel that pursuing higher education could open one's mind to all sorts of unhealthy and dangerous thoughts, like thinking rationally and for one's self. Remember, the Organization feeds off of those who are weak. Those who are experiencing turmoil, grief, poorly educated, and overall all just dealing with hard times. That's when they can capture people by promising them that things will get better. 'Remember paradise'  they love to say. 'This world won't be here much longer'.  That last sentence I heard regularly since I was a small child...and now I'm almost 40 yrs old.

Here's my point, any organization, be it religious or otherwise that is against free thinking or thinking for oneself is suspect. No one should ever seek to stop you from thinking outside the box and thinking about what is best for yourself, for your family. Sometimes what one is looking for doesn't fit within the nice neat boxes organizations like religions present to us. The one think that I've learned over my years of being df'd, is that having the ability to think for myself, freely, has opened up a whole work of opportunities that I would have never had had I stayed in such a stifling organization. And for that I'll never be sorry....

Hypocrisy, Facebook, and Jehovah's Witnesses

Jehovah's Witnesses are some of the most hypocritical people I've ever met. I've been on Facebook for a while now. Most people are. It has been great; I've been able to reconnect with people I lost touch with over the years. I have a cousin who is also df''d and we keep somewhat in contact with one another. Our friendship on Facebook has allowed us to keep in closer contact despite our very busy schedules. However, once we were "friends" on Facebook, an interesting thing started to happen....JWs started sending me friend requests. The people sending me the requests were all people I knew while I was still a JW. Most of them were best friends with my cousin, and I knew them from her. I can't say I was extremely close with them, since growing up I was a few years older than them (and back then that made a big difference!). I have to admit I was surprised they were 'friending' me. I even had to ask my cousin if they were all df''d because I knew many of their families well and their fathers happened to be Elders. My cousin's response? "Oh they are cool. They don't care about all that." I was still a little confused as to whether they were active JWs or not. I couldn't imagine active JWs associating with a df''d person, simply because all my friends decided I was unworthy of their friendship when I was df'd. So, I asked my cousin to clarify. She told me that they all still went to the  meetings, but that she was just as close when them now as she had been before she was df'd. They were even in her wedding...though they all got flack for that from the Elders when they found out.



I was shocked! I couldn't believe the fortune of my cousin! The fact that she was able to keep all her life long friends once she was df'd when I lost mine was great for her. I can't lie, I was even a little jealous of that. Based on what she told me, I decided to friend them all. I started to notice a few things right away. First their posts. Their language would never be allowed in any JW Kingdom Hall. Second, their pictures. I started to notice that they were throwing birthday parties for their kids and going to Christmas parties, both of which are big no-no's in the Organization. I also noticed that each of these women were either divorced (after getting married way too young at 18 or 19) and were now dating 'worldly' men. Remember, most of these women are daughters of Elders! I was shocked. I am still shocked.

As time has gone by I've seen them post pictures of themselves at various conventions, then in the very next set of pics they are posting pics of their kids birthday party, or at some night club dressed in a way that no 'god fearing woman' would. I am truly amazed that these women have managed to keep one foot in the Organization, maintaining all their familial relationships, while doing just as they pleased on the outside. Even more surprising, their children are all involved. I often wonder how they manage to keep their children from telling Elder grandpop about their birthday/Christmas/Halloween party?

What I've concluded is that this behavior isn't unusual. There are many in the Organization that are living lives just like these women. Though I never wanted to exert the energy of maintaining a double life, many were just fine with it. I see evidence of this attitude every time my mother calls me for some random conversation while keeping the fact that she talks to me at all a secret from all other JWs. I wonder why bother keep one foot in and one foot out of an Organization that makes adults feel the need to sneak around when they just want to live a different life. I don't understand it, and probably never will. I just know that sort of dishonesty isn't for me because I want to live an open life, a life without secrets and deception.